“Millicent Andrews?” the teacher called; a balding man possessing a boring tone of voice.
“Here,” Miley replied in a dry tone after wincing at the sound of her full name. Only her mother called her Millicent, and even then only when angry. Everyone called her ‘Miley’, a nickname she went by since early childhood.
As her Social Studies teacher droned on with the rest of the attendance Miley’s best friend Stacy leaned over and whispered, “What’s wrong with Mr. Nelson? He’s such a loser. I mean, we’ve been in his class for half our senior year and he still calls you Millicent.”
“I know, what a ‘tard, right?” Miley replied, chuckling quietly at Stacy.
“So guess what I heard?” Stacy urged in a hushed tone, suddenly changing the subject. “You know Charlie White, that geek in our Biology class?”
Miley knew who Charlie White was, “Yeah?”
“I guess he’s hung like a donkey!”
Miley couldn’t help but to burst into giggles at Stacy’s proclamation, earning her the attention of the whole class.
“Excuse me Miss Andrews,” the teacher chimed. “Was there something important you wanted to share with the class?”
“No Mr. Nelson,” Miley shook her head, fighting back laughter and trying to keep a straight face. “I’m sorry, please continue with attendance.”
Mr. Nelson frowned, but returned to his monotonous role call.
“I’ll fill you in after class,” Stacy whispered with a wink.
Fifty minutes later, as the two girls left class and walked together towards the locker they shared, Miley had forgotten all about what Stacy had said earlier. She was just happy to be out of Social Studies; Mr. Nelson had to be the most boring man on the planet.
“So get this; Darla’s older sister used to date his brother,” Stacy started once the pair were in the hallway and free to speak freely. “And she saw him in the bathroom and-”
“Stacy,” Miley interrupted. “What are you even talking about?”
“I’m talking about Charlie. You know, that one nerd? From Biology?”
Miley couldn’t help but grin as she recalled, “Oh yeah, the one you said was hung like a donkey?”
“Yeah, Darla said that her sister told her she saw Charlie naked after accidentally walking into the bathroom, and that he’s got a dick the size of Florida.”
Miley laughed as they reached the locker, letting Stacy work the combo lock, “Oh my god, as if. Charlie is a total geek.”
“I’m just telling you what Darla said,” Stacy defended herself, miffed that the accuracy of her gossip was being challenged.
“Whatever,” Miley replied as she switched books and checked her lipstick in the locker mirror. “I’ve got to get to English. See you at lunch?”
“See you then!”
Miley headed for her next class and quickly put her best friend’s gossip out of mind. It’s not as though she was the slightest bit interested in Charlie. He was a total nerd after all, while Miley was one of the most popular girls at school. Miley dated college guys, while Charlie probably hadn’t seen a naked girl outside of Playboy magazine. Boys at school drooled over Miley while the girls at school ignored Charlie, or worse. The two simply weren’t socially compatible regardless of how big Charlie’s penis was.
But as soon as lunch came, Miley was reminded all too soon as she and Stacy sat down in the cafeteria. Her best friend seemed obsessed.
“I wonder how big it actually is?” Stacy wondered.
“How big what is?”
Stacy frowned, “What’s with you today? You’ve been a total airhead. ”
“Are you still talking about that Charlie kid?” Miley laughed. “Geez, what are you, a size-queen or something?”
Both girls giggled.