Summary: Sweet white girl meets BBC by mistake and….
Note 1: This is an April Fools Day 2020 so please vote.
Note 2: Thanks to Tex Beethoven, and Robert for editing this story.
Wrong Place, Right Time
I felt weird going on a blind date… but after over six months in college and not a single date, my roommate Maria was insistent. Not that she was being altogether altruistic.
“You need to meet a nice guy, Annie,” Maria stressed.
“What I need is to get these papers done,” I insisted.
“It’s only two weeks into the second semester,” Maria pointed out. “How many papers can you have to do already?”
“Well… just one,” I admitted.
“Plus, Tuesday is Mike’s and my first anniversary of fucking each other, and we’d like some alone time,” she added. Maria’s motto was ‘Never say something nice if there’s a nasty alternative.’ Not that she was particularly unkind, but she was definitely raunchy.
“I can go to the library and give you some space,” I offered; it was my second home.
“All night?” she asked, with her eyebrows raised.
“Till it closes at nine,” I said.
“Humor me, I’m planning a very romantic night. Homemade dinner, a movie, lingerie and…” Maria paused for dramatic effect like she often did, being a drama major, “…a loud and lengthy fuck session.”
“Couldn’t you just say you want to make love or have sex?” I shook my head, Maria was always a lot more foul-mouthed than me. I only swore when I hurt myself or when I got stuck writing a paper… and then the profanity flowed freely from my lips.
“I don’t make love, I fuck,” Maria teased, knowing I was a lot primmer and more proper than she was.
I couldn’t resist, trying to go a little tit for tat with her, “Based on your primal screams and begging to be his bitch, I guess you’re right: you’re not having a ‘making love so we can start a family, darling’ playtime.”
“Gross,” she said, making a face like she’d just been pelted with rotten eggs. Maria frequently made it clear that the world was already overpopulated, so she had no intention of bringing yet another unfortunate kid into the world. Then always joking, “Besides, it would wreck my perfect figure.” And truth be told, she did have a perfect figure. She looked like a young Halle Berry, but darker and with bigger breasts. When we went out together, and this was just for lunch, or groceries or something, she turned so many heads: boys, men, old perverted men who said nasty things to her (which she loved, and gave back as good as she got), and even quite a few women.
Me, on the other hand, I’m a plain Jane. Not ugly, not gorgeous, more just the girl next door type. Brown hair, brown eyes, 34b breasts, and a little short.
I was the kind of girl you settled down with, if I could first get your attention; Maria was the kind of girl you fantasized about.
But although Maria was a black bombshell, she was also incredibly sweet… except for the foul mouth thing.
She revealed, “Plus, I’ve already set up the blind date for you.”
“You what?” I gasped; I was still planning to avoid this stupid date idea. Men were exhausting, and quite frankly with my rabbit vibrator, Literotica and Porn Hub, I was more than able to get the pleasure I needed without all the hassle of a relationship.
“I knew you’d find an excuse not to go, so I simply arranged it for you,” she said, “It’s a done deal,” knowing me very well, for only being friends for six months.
“Of course you did,” I sighed, knowing it would be futile to argue. Maria was just as stubborn as she was beautiful.
“His name is Kevin, and he’s a sweetheart,” she damned with faint praise .