I first discovered that I had the weakness while dating my first real girlfriend. I didn’t call it the weakness then, nor was I even aware that I had it at first, but I was always aware there was something different about me where girls, dating and relationships were concerned. Most guys wouldn’t tolerate their girlfriends even flirting with another guy let alone cheating on them behind their backs. I not only tolerated it, but often find myself actually going out of the way to instigate it. For some reason the idea of my significant other, whom I know should traditionally stay faithful and true to me and only me, out somewhere spreading her legs for another man, a real man if you will, who is probably better endowed and better in bed than I am, excites me to no end. Sometimes it excites me so intensely that the mere thought of it forces me to drop whatever I am doing, no matter where I am or how important the thing I am in the middle of is, to take matters into my own hands and masturbate myself to a complete orgasm.
I wasn’t always this way. In fact, I’m pretty sure I started out with the same feelings most guys have about girls cheating on them. There was jealousy and anger at the helplessness of being emasculated, especially when they were out having sex with one of your friends. But, I still couldn’t deny the excitement it brought me. I was a virgin until I was twenty one, until I met Suzy. Suzy was only eighteen and not very bright as far as book smarts went, but she had a keen understanding of men, and she was really hot and sexy. She was blonde with blue eyes, and she had a body to die for, a tiny little waist with flaring hips and a great pair of juicy tits that bounced when she walked.
Suzy had already been with several other men and had even had a couple of abortions, but this didn’t bother me because she was the first girl to show any interest in me whatsoever, an insane interest actually. I had no idea what a girl as hot as Suzy saw in a guy like me. It intimidated me. I was so intimidated in fact that I actually sort of rejected her advances, not because I wanted to. I was afraid of her. I had no skill at talking to girls. Plus I didn’t want her to know I was still a virgin which I knew she would easily figure out if we ever got physical with each other. Suzy’s reputation preceded her. I was still into the macho thing at that time, trying to act like a real man, and I didn’t want her to discover I wasn’t one. I had even taken up boxing hoping to toughen myself up and maybe become a bit of what I and a lot of others thought a real man should be. I had the black eyes to prove it. The black eyes came in useful when I first met Suzy at a party we were both attending.
“You should leave her,” she joked. She was referring to my black eyes and inferring I had a girlfriend who was abusing me.
“I’m a boxer,” I informed her, “Well, actually training to be one.” She must have thought her joke had insulted me because she gave me an apologetic look. She had come all the way across the room to break the ice with me and I had yet to hear of her reputation so I didn’t want to blow things just yet.
“You must be tough,” she said. “Your girlfriend is lucky she has a big strong man to protect her.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I confessed, and that’s when I figured out that, that was what she was trying to find out. She smiled and began following me all around the rest of the night.
I didn’t go to parties much, mostly because I was rarely invited, but the guys at the boxing gym I was training at invited me to this one. I thought, ‘what the hell?’ I was one of the few white people there, me, Suzy, a couple other girls and maybe one other guy who I was pretty sure was actually Hispanic anyway. At first I thought that was the reason Suzy had started hanging all over me, cause I was the only white guy there, but I soon learned from Tyrone that she had put out for a couple of “the brothers” already. Tyrone was the guy I would spar with the most. He was my trainer at the gym. He was also the reason for my black eyes.