“So, you see, we have a problem?”
My brother Darren and sister-in-law Amy were around the house explaining certain difficulties to me. I was off work for the day, missing seeing my sexy girlfriend there for the benefit of a shopping trip later in the day.
Darren was a large chap, around eighteen stone and certain medical issues that came with that meant he was now pretty unable to have kids. Their first shot at IVF had been unsuccessful because the hospital had screwed up, and because of that, they’d been given a second free shot on the condition Amy was impregnated with fertile sperm.
I suppose you can see where this is going, and I could see it from a long way off. The upshot was, Darren was completely infertile, and Amy was the opposite.
“Right,” I said slowly, hoping I was wrong and giving them every chance to correct themselves.
They looked at each other, and Darren left the dining room table we were sat at to go into the living room alone. Amy, a thin but actually quite beautiful woman about six years older than me, smiled nervously and lent over the table towards me. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m not thinking at all, I’m relying purely on what you tell me,” I replied difficulty, leaning away and folding my arms defensively.
She smiled, and sat up straight. “We want children, and adoption is not really an option because I can have kids. It’s just… Darren can’t.” I carried on looking at her, not sure I wanted to hear what she was going to tell me. And my girlfriend Rachel would go berserk at the thought of me sleeping with another woman. “Can you?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t tried yet,” I replied awkwardly.
“You and Rachel are serious, aren’t you?”
“To a point. She doesn’t want kids though, and we’re way from that point in our relationship anyway. I’m only 22, she’s a few months younger…” I trailed off just before Amy cut in.
“How would she feel?”
Amy now giggled, and leaned back towards me. “Alright, you know what we’re asking of you, so I don’t have to spell it out. Come on.”
“You want me to donate sperm?”
“Yes. You’ll have to come to Exeter with me and Darren, and take his place.”
Darren re-entered the room holding his mobile phone. “That was the hospital,” he said solemnly. “The appeal board have stipulated that the IVF go ahead only if both of us are fertile. As we’re not, we’ve had it taken away from us.”
Devastated, both left and soon afterwards, I left for the nearest city centre to spend some of my latest pay packet. I thought a lot about them, and a little about Rachel; soon realising why our relationship still wasn’t that serious after 18 months together and why I’d actually see myself donating sperm to be injected into my sister-in-law.
I deducted that the only reason I wouldn’t do it was the whole incest thing. I knew immediate family was illegal, but did in-laws count also? I really wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t about to ask a lawyer, but in any case, it kinda didn’t matter now.
My parents were away for the weekend, so when I got home, it was late Friday afternoon and I had the house to myself for two days. I rang Rachel, a white chick who looked black thanks to a stunning tan, and asked if she fancied coming over for the night. She said no, and didn’t explain why, but this was how things usually worked.
I was sat on my own, watching my favourite team play rugby and cheering them on quite loudly when I heard the back door open and shut. I peered back over the sofa to see Amy — looking absolutely adorable I must admit, in her cute blue hat — peeking through the door into the living room.