I visited Ivan at his apartment on a regular basis. It would always start with an invitation phone call from him, when he was horny. Sometimes I was busy and said ‘no.’ I had that much control, but when I was in his company he was definitely the one in charge.
It had been half a year since that first night when Ivan had taken advantage of my drunken state.
By now, I had no problem with the arrangement. I’d been guilty after the first night. And sore. I wanted to forget it. I was embarrassed that I’d done sex stuff with a man. If any of my friends found out I’d die. But I couldn’t forget it. And I began thinking about how some of it had been quite nice.
Slowly, over a few weeks, I started to wonder if I’d enjoy another round with him. It became a regular jerk-off fantasy. But my shame stopped me from contacting him and I thought that was the end of it.
Then, one evening I happened to run into him by chance. I was sober this time and we were chatting and he somehow got me to admit that I might be interested in playing a second time. He took me to his apartment and patiently helped me overcome my inhibitions. I’d experienced an evening of intense sexual pleasure in his hands and I learned a lot about myself.
I discovered a combination: I find my ass is very sensitive and I get highly aroused when I am touched there and, emotionally, I like to be somewhat submissive. Once I got over the taboo of homosexual acts, that combination made me ripe for Ivan to take full control.
Now that I’d had practice, I loved feeling my ass being stretched by his hard member and enjoyed how I made him cum by pushing back against his thrusts or straddling him and grinding down onto his erection.
One position he most enjoyed was with him on his back. I would slide myself down onto his cock facing away from him. That way I could reach down and fondle his balls as I rocked myself up and down on his cock.
It was his idea to do that so I knew he liked it. He told me it was so he could look at my sexy bottom, which thrilled me.
Whenever we went at it that way and I stroked and gently squeezed his balls while he fucked me, he would cum very hard. His hands would reach out to grasp my hips and he would buck himself hard upwards against the cheeks of my ass. His cock went deep as he came inside me. I loved how it felt.
It was clear that he never allowed himself to be penetrated. He wasn’t afraid to touch my cock. He’d play with it and stroke it and suck me off but when it was time for fucking he was the one on top. Except when I was on top… riding his big cock. I didn’t care. In a straight relationship I was more assertive, but as time passed with Ivan I found myself more and more subservient. I liked the switch in roles. In a perverse way, it excited me to be a sex-toy for this older man. He had found and exploited something in me that I hadn’t known was there.
He asked me to dress a certain way for him. Short cut-offs and tiny underwear. He asked me to grow my hair and he made me shave what little pubic and body that hair I had. Even under my arms. I was totally smooth for him now. It made me self-conscious to be with girls, though. How could I explain why I was completely shaven? So I didn’t date girls any more, once I started shaving for Ivan.
One evening he called me and invited me over.
When the phone rang I was masturbating, thinking about getting fucked and thinking about taking his cock into my mouth and how it felt when he would take mine in his fist and jerk it fast and rough until I came. It wasn’t a romantic thing with Ivan. It was all about the cock.