Midget Knocked Up

At 22, I found myself jobless and decided to do
anything that comes my way. One day I saw an Ad in the
newspaper. “Wanted: Helper for trucker’s family. Good
pay.” I called the phone number in the ad, and a man on
the other side told me that he wanted to hire someone
for his pregnant wife. Since he has to go on long
journeys he needed someone to help out his wife in case
of an emergency. The pay had been good, plus lodging
and meal. The only negative was that the place was away
from town.

I took a taxi to reach the place. The journey took
about two hours and finally stopped in front of a big,
rambling old farmhouse with a huge trailer truck parked
beside it. I paid off the driver and pulled my suitcase
up the steps to the front door. There was no doorbell,
so I knocked hard on the door. The paint was peeling
off the weather-beaten wood. It looked as if the
trucker didn’t take much care about his house. The yard
was nothing but beaten-down dirt.

Finally, after knocking again I heard someone coming,
and the door swung open. The man who opened the door
was in his mid thirties. He was well over six feet
tall, lean and hard-muscled. His black hair was short
and tangled. He had a day’s growth of whiskers on his
jaws and thick matted black curls of hair on his chest,
and he was wearing nothing but a pair of jockey shorts!

“Oh, hello,” the man said. “Are you the man that’s come
looking for the job?” He wiped his eyes and smiled at
me. “Come on in. You’ll have to excuse the way I look.
I forgot you were comin’ out, and I fell asleep on the
couch watchin’ the ball game.”

“Its okay sir,” I said.

“Just call me George and tell me your name.”

“Peter,” I told him my name. He motioned for me to sit
down on the sofa. He turned off the television and sat
down beside me. “You want to hire me, then?”

“Sure, you’ll do just fine. Don’t you want to take the

“I-I suppose so… Perhaps I should meet your wife.”

“I’ll call her in to meet you,” he said, and went over
to the window. He shouted, ‘Daisy’ and told her to come
in. A couple of minutes later I saw the back door open
and in comes a girl. Only as she came closer I realized
she was a woman in her late twenties. But the most
striking thing about her was her height.

She was perhaps not a midget technically but she looked
like one. She was only a hair over 4′ in height. Every
part of her body was in proportion to her height except
her belly. The tank top covered half her belly and the
rest was bulging out for me to see. She looked like she
was at least 6 months pregnant. She was perhaps coming
from a swim because she was wearing very little and she
was wet. She might have been really good-looking if her
hair hadn’t been wet and tangled.

A dwarf woman is just like me and like you,
Happy sometimes and sometimes quite blue,
You might think that dwarfs are myth and not really
But I’ve met one and this I will swear!

Was she really human and not just some illusion?
Just like yours, I had my confusion.
Believe me my friends I am not crazy,
When I asked for her name she said it’s Daisy!

“I’m sorry I don’t have my proper clothes on,” she
said. “I didn’t know there was any company here.” The
woman said.

“We get a little informal around here, I guess. Hope
you don’t mind too much.” George said to me.

“It’s okay, on a hot day I sometime too live with very
little clothes.”

George was a little amused and a little annoyed, “Do
you want me to show you your room?” he said simply to
change the topic.

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