Knob Alley

I had been a Director of a Boarding School and teaching for thirty years. In that time, I had learned early on that the students will find ways to do whatever they put their minds to. Case in point, a mother brought in her daughter before Enrollment Day to meet with me, and complained that she had gotten pregnant.

“I can see that, but see to it that it isn’t a distraction for the other girls, and.”

“She says that she had gotten pregnant here. Go on?” She pushed her forward, but the youth balked. “Tell her?”

I have to say, without revealing her identity, that the daughter had spent some time on the East End, and her language had suffered.

“Oi, you needn’t hit me, mum?”

“Tell her!”

She rubbed her arm, and rolled her eyes. “This isn’t a reformatory,”

“She’s already enrolled in a bleeding,” the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree, “Reform school, I’ll have you know that where it not for your dereliction of duty, she would be attending here again, and I am friends with the other parents, who would be interested to know how.”

I tapped the ruler on the desk top until she finished. She controlled herself, and straightened up. Breathing harshly through her nose, but the redness ran out of her face, presently.

“You’re not in trouble then.” I swallowed the threat. The reputation of this academy could be compromised, and she knows it. “So, it would behoove you.”

“Behoove, it isn’t the middle ages!” Another cuff to the back of the head, and she smoothed back her hair, without so much as a grunt, or wince of surprise, but she couldn’t hold a straight face.

Ah, one of those rebellious girls, it starts at home, and she’d obviously been pressing her mother’s buttons long enough to know the exact sequence, to play a song on her, like a flute.

“Well, I’ll tell you gov.” I’ll take that, patiently as short for governess, “Thing is that last semester, I ‘eard about this, from a friend.” She winked.

Charming. “And who would this friend be?”

“Well, it isn’t your concern any longer, eh? She graduated last year, so she’s out of your hands,”

“Answer her?”

“Bloody hell, mum? Me memory’s not coming back with you beating it out of me ead, init?”

“It might be better if you wait outside. I doubt you want to hear this anyway, and I cannot tolerate this violence against children.”

“Oi!” She acted offended at the implication that she was indeed a child? If one expecting another, soon by the look of it.

“You can drop the cockney act as well. I’ve been to the east end, since before you’ve been born, and after this, you can go back there. To work on your act, but if you believe for a moment that you’re impressing me, then you may as well be taking a piss?”

She giggled, and sat down. Carefully, for she was indeed, quite pregnant, and slight. Short, and not at all fact, which only exaggerated her condition.

“Well, my friend.” She looked up, and I nodded, “Was a senior, so she graduated.”

“I understand that, but she told you where you could have sex, on campus?”

“Well, not as such, no. Y’see, she asked me first if I had ever seen a penis? Then if it were erect, or.” She covered the mouth, and her face was flushed, but I sincerely doubted that there was any shame behind it. She cleared her throat. “Hm, excuse me, but I don’t know the proper way to say if he.” She stuck out her thumb, “Finished?” Then, she let it down slowly, as if wilting, and going limp over her knuckle.

“Look, you’re not longer a student here, and you seem to get more than enough discipline at home, but if you’re asking if you can swear, then I can assure you that I’ve heard much worse.”

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