Elaine wants a baby and tries to get Jake to help her

I like Elaine. She’s outgoing, funny and by no means unattractive but this wasn’t like her. She’s my wife Nancy’s cousin, and although not blood related to me, she’s still family. How could she ask me that? What possessed her to think I might agree to something like that? I just asked ‘Is there anything I can do?’ when I saw her sitting alone on my front porch, looking very down. She usually is flitting around family gatherings like a social butterfly, but not today. I thought I should sit down and find out what was bothering her. I never like seeing people feeling badly at what’s supposed to be a joyous event like my grandfathers 95th birthday, especially not family.

Staring into her glittering blue eyes, my mouth must have been hanging open in disbelief. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. That must be why she repeated the outrageous request.

“Will you make me pregnant?” with a smile as innocent as could be.

“Whoa!…What the hell, Elaine?” I responded in a hushed voice, “I’m married to your cousin, this is not something new.”

“I know,” lowering her voice and leaning closer, “I’m married too, but I don’t know for how much longer.”

“If you go around asking guys to get you pregnant and Danny finds out, you’ll be single sooner than later. I thought you two were trying to get pregnant. What happened? Did he change his mind?”

“No he hasn’t changed his mind. We’ve been trying for over two years and I was getting concerned that I was infertile. I went to my gynecologist and she says I’m perfectly healthy and normal.”

“Has Danny gone in and gotten checked out,” I asked, knowing how proud he is, that might be an issue.

“I’ve been asking him to but he keeps putting it off or blaming it on timing.”

“So he hasn’t.”

“I didn’t think he had but then I got home and heard a message on our answering machine from a doctor about some test results being mailed to him. Then an envelope shows up Wednesday from a fertility clinic with his name on it. He went and got tested without telling me,” Elaine’s voice shuddered as if she was about to cry.

I could tell she was hurt by Danny not telling her about something like getting tested to see if he’s possibly shooting blanks, but guys like him have a real problem with their masculinity being called into question. Don’t get me wrong, I like Danny. He’s a good guy and loves Elaine whole heartedly, but sometimes his macho bull shit gets in the way of rational thinking. He’s very driven. He has to be the best at everything he does. I think that comes from being the youngest of four kids in his family, three brothers and a sister. From what I hear, they are all like him, always trying to be the best. His parents haven’t helped either as they seem to encourage the sibling rivalries.

“I probably shouldn’t ask but what did he say the results were?”

“He doesn’t know…because I haven’t showed him the letter. And I erased the message before he got home so he doesn’t know the results were sent,” she said bowing her head, “I’m worried if he finds out what’s in the letter he’ll go off the deep end. His parents have been pressuring him about grandkids and it’s really stressing him out. Both his brothers have four kids and his sister just gave birth to her second about six weeks ago.”

“You know he’s going to find out if he calls the place for the results when he doesn’t hear from them,” I told her, “That could end up being worse. Did you open the letter?”

Elaine nodded, not wanting to look me in the eye.

“What did it say?”

“Well…he’s not shooting blanks…”