I never thought I’d get pregnant. I’d been trying with
my husband for almost three years when new neighbors
moved in across the street and we invited them over
that fateful evening.
John and Kristine were your average looking couple, he
was nice enough looking that — in my mind’s eye — I
had him undressed and in bed with me. I know my husband
Andy was imagining guy things about Kristine.
But what really changed things for Andy and me that
evening was that Kristine knew a guy who said he could
guarantee a pregnancy for any woman who still had her
ovaries and that he was really reasonable priced.
Kristine said that her friend wouldn’t tell her the
particulars but that she was pregnant after only one
session at the fertility clinic.
I had just turned 35 and Andy was three months away
from 40 and our bio-clocks were spinning pretty fast.
Up until three years ago when we started trying for a
baby we’d always been too busy and now that we hadn’t
had any success things between us were becoming
We’d gone to the doctor and apparently my husband’s
sperm count wasn’t all that great and to make matters
worse, my immune system was a killer when it came to
his sperm. What few little squiggelys that made it as
far as my womb; my immune system cannibalized.
So you might understand why I was interested in what
Kristine had to say about her friend. Andy and I don’t
make tons on money, he’s an auto mechanic at Pep Boys
and I work as a secretary at a three man accounting
firm, so when she said that this clinic had
“reasonable” prices my ears perked up.
Kristine promised to ask her friend to call me and sure
enough I got a call the very next evening. The lady on
the other end of the phone said that she indeed had
conceived a child after only one session at the clinic
and that it had only cost $1000.00. She wasn’t sure
that the procedure was for everyone but that it had
been very effective for her.
I asked her what she meant but she refused to tell me
any details but she did give me the phone number for
the clinic. I called them the very next morning.
Looking back I should have been a bit more skeptical
about the whole thing, but I was a bit desperate to
have a child and I think at that time I was prepared to
do just about anything to get pregnant. If I had only
known, I might not have been so eager.
The voice on the other end of the phone was pleasant
and she sounded like a professional. She told me that I
would have to pay up front and sign a disclaimer that
relinquished any right to sue for malpractice, or pain
and suffering because of the procedure. She said this
was a precaution required to keep the price down. If
they had to worry about dissatisfied clients, then the
price would have to go up substantially.
I still don’t know why I did it. Maybe it was the
attractive guy in the smartly cut business suit who
came to the house that evening to help us with the
paperwork. Or maybe it was the confidence of the woman
who I’d talked to on the phone that morning. She seemed
so positive that I’d get a baby from this procedure.
She had said that almost 90% of all women who they
served got pregnant from just one procedure.
Whatever the reason I signed those papers, I did so
with the expectation that I would be taken the very
next afternoon. It was amazing, to be scheduled so
fast, I’d heard that most clinics made appointments for
months down the road. I should have wondered at that
too, I guess.
Andy took me to the clinic at 3 o’clock the next
afternoon. I was met by a good looking guy who told my
husband that he could come back after 7 that evening to
pick me up. When he said that he would like to stay the
man told him that it was impossible for a spouse to be
present when the procedure was in process. It was
usually too trying for the spouse since there was some
minor pain and discomfort involved.