Back Ally

I thought I was a voyeur once, and then I got this job. So, I got a little jaded, I guess. Then, I met someone out back. Smoking a cigarette, waiting to be let in, she just “Hey mister”ed, and I tried to put her off. Told her “No, I don’t have another cigarette,” and to “Get lost.”

Then, she asked me “Can you get me something?”

My manager came and let me in, but let me say she was smart enough to stand on the side, so she was behind it when the door opened. I just dropped my cigarette, and didn’t put it out, but she was young. Too young to be hanging out behind a porn shop.

I clocked in, counted the drawer, yadda yadda, and then the other guy left. This kind of business, it’s slow, and random. Guys come in, they look around for a while, and then they leave. Sometimes, they leave as soon as the see some other guy looking around, he doesn’t even look back. Then he buys something, and leaves, so the other guy can come in.

What’s fucked up is that those kinds of customers are obviously afraid that the other guy is going to see whatever perversions they’re looking at, and then they’ll bring. I don’t know, Ass Blasters #69 for me to ring up, and no that’s not a joke. One of our best sellers is Ass Blasters #69, just because of the number, and there’s not any reason it’s better than #68, or #90, but it’s actually pretty hard to keep it in stock. The only reason why they have 200+ episodes in the series is there’s always this guy that’s beat off to all of them, and can’t wait for the next one to come out.

So yeah, you tend to get jaded after a while, and there’s no policy whatsoever about jacking off on the job, because I can always tuck it back in before I hit the solenoid on the front door. I didn’t forget about her, but I watched the screen for a while, and she knows right where camera in the alley is pointed too. I was starting to think she took my advice, and fucked off while I was busy doing the changeover, but then this guy came in. Looked around, and this other guy came in, so the first one paniced, and ran out the back, before he bought anything.

I just looked at the camera, and he looked over. “Hey mister.” He looked around, and almost kept running the other way, but I don’t have any way to turn on the microphone for the intercom, unless he backed into the button by accident. I just filled in the dialog in my head.

“Who, me?”

“Yeah, can you get me something, inside?” He walked out of the camera’s view, there’s a blind spot, and if anyone ever bothered not to go the other way, with their shameful smut, i might have worried about it before, but I figured she’d just give him the money for whatever, and then I’d find out when he came back in to buy it for her.

“I’ll take these.” I didn’t even look, just flipped the magazines over, and fanned the corners to scan the bar codes, glanced at the register.

“That’ll be $23.21.” Then when I looked back, he backed up, and turned around. Zipping his pants up, and tucking his wallet in his back pocket. The door thunked on the lock, and I jumped. Reached under the counter, and pushed the button to pull the solenoid bolt out of the slot. “Have a nice day.”

I got up, and dismissed all the hassle I’d have to go through, calling the cops, and reporting her for turning tricks in the alley, but if anyone came while I was out back, taking a smoke break, that’s a lot less business than I’d lose if we had a bunch of cop cars out front.

“You still back there, kid?” I held my foot in the door, and my hip up against it. “What did you want, from inside?”

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